I was working behind the bar during the World Cup (in fact, the last 2 but that’s irrelevant to the story) and I was quite friendly with the regulars. Especially this one chap, Carl, who this ‘blog’ is based on.
Carl turned up to every Man Utd and England match he could, that was shown at our pub. He used to bring a tobacco tin to every England match. The tin lid was decorated with a St George design and a British Bulldog in the centre. Inside the tin was, of course, Carl’s dad. Carl made a promise to his dad that he would take him to every England match he could. This sounds quite a thoughtful thing to do but….
As the place was getting quite busy and England scored their first goal against the opposition Carl had shouted to me, ‘Double rum for m’ Dad please, Steve?’. So I hurried and plonked a double rum in front of him, took the cash and carried on with my duties… Again a big cheer and …‘Double rum for m’ Dad again please, Steve?’ So I did.
3 goals, then 4 to England then a fifth each with a double rum. Next thing I saw were flames licking the front of one of the tills where Carl is calmly sat staring at his ‘Dad’. I rushed over and asked what the hell is happening. At the same time England scored for the final time and Carl eagerly answered, ‘Nothing mate. Looks like m’ Dad needs another rum.’
I swiftly poured a large rum and passed it over, to my surprise, Carl poured this into the flames, which I saw coming out of the tin, luckily extinguishing the fire that was coming from the tin.
I then discovered that Carl’s Dad’s Ashes were in that tin. When his dad was alive he knocked back a double rum each time England scored. Carl was pouring the spirit into the tin and setting fire to it to evaporate the liquid.
This was Carl’s way of still celebrating ‘The Match’ with his old man.
Is this funny or sick?? Air your views!!!